Hello Earth

Today wasnt a good day either. early in the morning received a message from you. saying you are having an extra CDS lesson on friday. i just wanna ask "Can i see the email?" but i didnt becos i choose to believe you instead that you are not lying to avoid spending time with me. why does the CDS have to be on friday? Why does you have a family chalet on sat to monday and not able to spend any of the days with me?? WHY? you are heavily occupied with all your programs. we couldnt even spend some time talking to each other. every SMS needs to wait for some time before i could see your replies. and your replies are always so short that i dont even know how to continue the conversation with you in the SMS. Cant you just talk more to me and reply me a little longer? I want you to ask me more questions like what time is my lesson? You miss me or not? Why is it so difficult for you to do that?

Everything may sound like i am crazy that why you ask me stop being so crazy. but think again?? what makes me so crazy? i reserved every single day for you so that when you are free and you wanna meet me.. i am always able to meet you. i am ready to push away all my dates or meeting with anyone else. But are you able to do that for me?? TP 20th anniversary seems very important to you and as if it is very meaningful in your life that you celebrate TP 20th birthday. But let me gurantee 1 thing. you will forget about TP once you leave the school and start working outside.

even if i told you that This flashmob will be your last event in school now. but i know that you will join other event and try to persuade me again to join other events next time.. but i will say no. no means no for any kinds of event. you have to choose " Event or Me". i dont want to be your 2nd choice. Trust me, i say i dont want means i dont want.

lately you also dont really call me bee already. you only call me "eh Eh or EH". it sounds like i am no longer someone important to you already. i dont know why this blog suddenly becomes a place where i say crazy things in here. but i know i could say all this to you becos you NEVER will understand how i felt. i love you so much that nothing matters more than you but its not the same way round. thats how disappointed i am.

When i was in taiwan. that first night. i was so happy to see that first message that you sent me in my facebook. " Where Are You?? =(" that tells me how much you miss me when i was in taiwan. that also wat makes to be online every single night to talk to you on facebook while standing and my leg hurts so much after walking for the whole day.. that is how much you mean to me. Do you know that Sat i was so sad becos you said you are tired from working and you dont wanna pick up my phone? Baby, When you need me and wanna talk to me. even when i cant walk or stand anymore, i still force myself standing in front of the computer for 2 hours or more just to talk to you. BUT you didnt. you were sitting inside the bus resting but not talking to me at all and even wanted me to leave you alone to rest.

you will never know when my tears flow down and how much tears had flown down.